Explosions

Last night we were laying in our new bed, nice and tucked underneath the clean sheets waiting for sleep to come.
Boom.
"Must be some idiot out tonight..." I thought.
I kept my eyes close, but my mind stayed alert and tuned. Something was up.
Boom.
Boom.
I sat up. So did Angel. "What is that??" She said.
BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!
We flew out of bed and cranked open the window, the impact of sound was so fierce it shook the building.
Cop sirens started to wail and screech their tires like feinds on the hunt for the source of that sound.
BOOM!
I grabbed my bathrobe and slippers, we ran out into the hall as the sound reverberated through the hallway. We climbed out onto the fire escape to see downtown lit up by fireworks as if it was the Fourth of July.

They exploded with colorful intensity, the flashes blinded my eyes and the concussions woke up all of downtown.
It was very cold and windy outside, a Tuesday night and the streets were empty. I thought it must be a hoodlum, possibly George. I saw a few cars stop in the intersections to look at the display with confused and shocked expressions.
After a final flurry of giant strobes and fiery color, it came to an end. Cheers went up from around the city. We ran inside and called the KHQ newsroom, the guy said that it was set up by the Recs department. He sounded a little butt-hurt because they only told the fire department that it was going to happen. The newsroom must have felt left out. The cops were circling with their sirens on, they were pissed that they too were surprised.

The whole building was awake afterwards, all partying and arguing. I lay in my bed and fell asleep with a smile on my face.
When I went to work the next day, I didn't tell anybody about it because there was just nothing to say.

Nobody cared; but that's ok because just like the glitter in the hallway, the fireworks were just for us.

full sails ahead.. into the dark

full sail ahead as i stare over the untethered lights mingling with the dark trees weaving into the mission hills landscape

v. whatever the costs may be

We shall go on to the end.
We shall fight in France,
We shall fight on the seas and oceans,
We shall fight with GROWING confidence and GROWING strength in the air.
We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be.
We shall fight on beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,
We shall fight in the fields and in the streets.
We shall fight in the hills,
We shall never surrender.

v.

Aetheri

Sorry to say we've lost steam. I'm going to stop checking here because it's so sad to see us losing track of each other again.

Peace, out.

James

PS I think most of us are up at Facebook now. See you there.

Need help on converting a PDF to DOCX...

I have a question. Do you know how I can convert a PDF file to one we can access in word? I have tried all my little tricks and it still comes in as a jpg.

please invite spleeny

spleeny wants to be invited can you email me and ill give you her address v.

SEO

eehhh .. now it goes from web design to SEO .. the challenge that never ends.. i want to kick myself in the balls.

v.

Wally World

I spent my Easter ringing up shoppers who weren't spending time at home like they should. Some families had just gotten out of church and decided to go last minute shopping, others were alone buying regular items like box dinners and cans of chili.

I focused on not being homesick, but customers would say, "How is your day going? Besides the fact that you're working on Easter." Then they tilt their heads sideways and give me this pathetic look of pity that just sickens me.

Working for Wally World is relatively smooth and a well oiled machine; no drama, no fear of losing my job. I clock in, cashier, then clock out. It's the customers that make my paycheck 55 cents above everyone else's.

I gave Angel Girl-Scout cookies for Easter, she lays sweetly on the bed now. Our relationship is receiving intensity from all those damn external factors... For me the combination of crazy weather, residual depression from the shock of losing my job and then adjusting to a new one has made me mentally unstable. I have been hallucinating sober, the most intense time was when Angel had her first bondage scene with another person.

At first I was OK with having scenes with other people, because it was just playing and everyone knew that it was Angel and me in the end.

But that all changed recently when "The Boy with the Crocodile Smile" lost his girlfriend, and has started to go after mine.

So "he" came over and they fooled around, usually I'm into that thing but not with him, you can read what I thought that night in my private blog here:
http://secretmia.blogspot.com/2009/03/bondage.html

I left the apartment, sat in a hallway and hallucinated for hours. I felt extreme feelings... I had chills, was hearing many voices arguing and shouting in my brain, and got a pounding headache. Once when I was sitting in the kitchen I looked in and saw her chained in the spreader bar, naked, him playing with her... but her eyes were fixed on me. I ripped my gaze away and my mind swirled. I saw how he stared at her with intense unwavering eyes and the desire I saw in her eyes as well. I could smell their pheramones, and it all made me psycho. Again, my blog from that night was so much better at explaining it all.

About three hours later they stopped, he left her unfinished and wanting more. They both will play again, we all know it...

In the morning we had a good talk about it. Over the span of a couple days actually. I explained I was threatened by him... and more by him than I am about what she does. I mean, we played with Bishop and that was totally fun.

One thing was I hadn't gotten anything since Valentines, and that even had an air of sadness because I had just gotten fired, we lost Bishop and everything had bottomed out. She explained to me how she would never let him think he could separate us. That it was just playing, and even though he wants her to, she wont submit to him. I trust her, but I just can't shake this feeling of jealousy. She thinks it's me, that I'm jealous and its cute. Downplaying, like she does so well.

Even though I am caught in between, Angel is more headstrong and I'm confident in her. She has reinforced that fact with chains and cuffs. It seems our relationship has gotten an energy jolt... we're spending more time together, doing healthy fun things like dressing up and going out instead of staying cooped up and bored. I'm slimming down more and feeling healthier. I'm going to school in the Fall, and my focus will be where it needs to be.

In time we'll see how it turns out. I want him to find someone else who will suit his needs. There's a spring Barter Fair, and the group is going. Life has given me a foothold to climb up on. Its going to be another wild, wild year.

This song kicked ass

before half of us were born.

site

this is the site that cost me lots of anguish..

tclconferences.com

v.

Another Easter alone

For the past ten years, Spice has gone to the beach with her women friends, and so she has again this year. Usually that has left me home with Darter, which has always been fun. No Darter is a freshman five hours away in college.

:(

Rachel's birthday.

My baby turned 9 today. We are going to Build a Bear. She wants one and it is my pleasure to give her some joy in life. It is SNOWING, it is crazy. Yesterday was like 75 deg. Only in KS. Life is crazy and busy and hard to define at this time. It seems the wait gives you great reflection, only prefer no regrets. Make great choices and stand behind your decisions. Fighting is necessary but not wanted or desired.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL. LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH!

life is really hard

is all i can say .. i dont have the freedom of whining and being a loser .. anymore.. i used to have that with youth .

but its gone..

i m 34.. young on some levels but old enough to know .. work is the only freedom we really have..

v.

A new review!

We are pleased to share a new review of Jesus Swept. It was written by Rev. J. David Nichols, of Shared Sacrifice.

The asexuality of the biblical Jesus is preserved in this book – while at the same time the reader encounters homosexuality in a way that, to the uninitiated may seem shocking, but strikes true an understanding of what it is like to seek love in a gay relationship. Protzman is not gay, yet he surprisingly approaches the struggle for gay identity and love in a non-patronizing fashion that is true to gay experience. This exploration of homosexuality is nonthreatening to the straight reader, and will allow them to understand just some of the gay angst their friends experience.