Yummmmmmmmm

We were here three times today.

Movement

This is the camera that stares down our hallway looking at my door. Many others have been set up in the building, to stare at us... to watch us and make sure we know that he's watching; Ironically, ever since they've been up, we've had several strange incidences occur in the hallways.

One night we were hiding our friend from her Ex and he was at the front, he just wanted to hang out with us as well, to get away from her. We looked for ways out and tried to talk him into going away... by telling him we were gone. In the surveillance cameras you can see three girls in wild clothing running around the building making absolutely no sense.
Then we had an incidence where angel was sleepwalking out to the fire escape and I'm sure he saw me run down the hall and drag her zombie-ass back into the room... not to mention the daily visitors we get, we can't help that...

Finally, after two months of stagnant waiting, struggling and finding denial at every turn, I filled out an application to Wal-Mart, passed their piss test and got hired. I start tomorrow, I must wear a dark blue shirt and khaki pants, no exceptions.

I find khaki hideous... but I shall conform to the dull uniform ways of Wally World. It wont be as interesting as Goodwill, nor the same hours, but it won't suck up my life with drama and long shifts. Also, the bus that goes there also goes to the school I will be attending in the fall. (I wanted to go sooner, but the deadline was missed by a stinkin' six days. No hard feelings though)
As far as Goodwill goes, I received a letter directly from the CEO which said that I didn't get my job back, but they made me eligible for rehire elsewhere within the company.

The opportunity for rehire is a valuable asset to have; a certain "dignity" is restored, and a safety net in this uncertain future.

But I'm trying Wal Mart. They pay more and have less issues. Goodwill is just too extreme. You're constantly on eggshells at work, who knows what your managers are saying behind your back and what's circling around. You see, ever since I was fired my old manager friend Mary has told me how rediculous it has become. The "higher ups" come down into the store, pick up bits and pieces of a conversation and then circle it around to the other managers. Eventually it circles around to bite you in the ass, you'll get a write up or a "talking to" for something you hardly remember from three weeks ago.

Getting the job really saved me, I just couldn't take it anymore. Almost two months have been spent in the apartment and its all I can take.
I have a bizarre case of cabin fever. Recently, I've been hearing strange sounds and becoming more paranoid. Suddenly I have the scoop on everyone, know the latest news and hallway gossip. Its taking over my brain....
I feel the need for movement.

aetheri on facebook ftw

two posts in a row! wow, i'm all a-sizzle!

i've started a group on facebook ... in case anyone wants to check it out. for now, i'm keeping it to invite/request only, to keep the freaky-freaks away. if it doesn't take off soon, i'll open it up to see if that helps us find folks.

the aetheri facebook group can be found here. if you'd like to join, just send a request to the group admin (that's me), or add me as a friend.

if you're not on the facebook wagon yet, it's free, and pretty fun ... and it makes it super-easy to find people you forgot you ever knew, and people you wish you'd kept in touch with. the guy i had a crush on in 9th grade found me on there, and we've been hanging out since january. if i hadn't been sold on it by then, that would have done it for me. ^_^

if we don't try it, we'll never know if it would work to reconnect us. hope to see you there!

less than three, but also less than here

oh my sweet aetherians! i do miss you all terribly. i've found that i can maintain a grand total of one site and right now that's facebook. those of you who are there, please find and add me! i was thinking we should have a group for all the old aetherians to keep up with each other ... not quite the same as what we're used to, but it is good for networking. i'd also like to make more of an effort to maintain this blog, as i really do like blogger and the way it works ... more so than other blog clients, anyway. maybe a combination of this and facebook would do it for me. maybe not. for now, it's tax season and things are a bit hairy.
i miss you, and i hope you're all doing well! <3

Checking In

Hello peeps,

I've heard the pleas so I'm offering up this meager post:

Seven weeks left of the most hellacious semester of vet school then I'm half-way done! Exams are looming - neurology final and cardiopulmonary diseases midterm next week, pathology finals (two finals for one class - gah) and radiology the following week, then it's surgery time! My first patient is going to be a canine spay; I'm so excited.

I do check in occasionally, and it's comforting to see you all.

Carry on. xxxooo

Mr. Grump

James has been Mr. Grump lately. His dumb book is selling like five-day old smelly fish, with no sign of an uptake in sight. When these things happen, he leans hard in the direction of depressed. Which is where things stand right now. We have tried to kick him in the butt, to no avail.

Juxtaposition

I find myself in another of those spots where I'm living 2 separate lives. One is here at home: working; living; loving and doing my chores and hobbies. The other one is in Denver, 4 hours north, sitting on a negotiation committee.

I go up to Denver every week for anything from 1 to 4 days. I sit there, put in my two cents and keep our union membership informed of what's going on along with fighting the company propaganda machine. I predict that our contract will end in arbitration. The two sides are just too far apart. The union wants our folks to have a cost of living raise and to make a bit more sense of the work rules. The company wants no raise, to cut retirement by a third and reduce our time off on vacation/sick leave and that sort of thing.

Dealing with business people is (big business people) annoying. I could go on forever about this subject but they practice the habit of saying revolting things in a pleasant voice and with a delivery that suggests we're idiots for not accepting concessions while they're making money. I find it a bit maddening.

While all that's going on I drive to Denver and back, try to keep our pantry stocked, do my house cleaning chores, make vain attempts to get into my pottery studio and keep the cars running. It's wearing me out a little. I chose it so I'm not going to go all crazy with the complaining and really haven't said anything about it outside of here.

I'll be glad when we're all done. The current 3 year contract expires in June and we have a no strike/no lock out clause because it's a utility and folks don't want their power to go out because we're squabbling. The arbitration will happen after that. I'm hoping it isn't like back in '89 when the arbitrator locked both sides in a room for 3 days with the charge to have everything possible settled when he unlocked the door. I'm not sure I could avoid being violent to these people given that situation.

SO that's where I'm at today. How about the rest of you?

JJ? How's the car situation?
James? How goes the new book and the sales of the old book?
V? are you keeping the shiny side up?
The rest of you chime in there. I miss you guys.

Slow down time... I want more days

We have an oven that works. YEAH! We have been busy cooking up a storm. My kids are relieved they are here and not at Dad's. R shies away from his calls as well now. I am sure it will open a new can of worms. I am just facing today. The fact my parttime job is ending makes me want to look for something else, but lately I have struggled with breathing issues and feel I need the break. G is still here, refuses to leave. So for today we are functing and I will have to either move out or make a change. At least we are alive and well. We even have smiles for the road.

An interesting note

Look here: http://www.aetheri.com/ and you will see that they're trying to sell off the domain name. Minimum bid is $800 so I'm not thinking we'll be putting in a bid. I check back on this stuff from time to time.

Funny huh?

i will never surrender

to blackest failings .. i will never stop learning and working to be a better me one that uses my potential to create life and breath art into the world .. magic is thought .. believe!

v.

Old friends and new friends

So, we need to get to a bit more posting here don't we? I check every day to see if any of my old friends here have written something. I should get better about commenting.

Sometimes I get to wondering what it was that made the old aetheri so wonderful and so hard to re-create. Can't seem to wrap my head around it. Nothing else seems to have been able to capture that mix of folks that made it magic and encouraging and creative.

I have been using face book a good bit. But I don't share there like I used to when our gang was all together. I miss that. And in the process over there I meet old friends from High School. Oddly lots of them are Jesus people. I just don't get that. I know lots of people are Jesus people. ...... I don't get that either.

I'm home for the weekend. And most of next week. This traveling the 4 hours to Denver once a week for a few days at a time for this contract negotiation is getting old. Still worth it but getting old. I don't feel very grounded and I'm getting none of my stuff done at home.

Maybe I should make pots today.

Or something.....

:(

It appears we are slowing down.

Still running up and back

Still running to Denver and back every week. It's getting just a little bit old, but I have a whole lot more of it to do probably. Unless both sides can just agree to face the reality that there's no way they're going to agree on the major issues and all of us can move on.

I got the Hooptie back today! In case no one remembers (and there's no reason anyone should) the Hooptie is an 86 Honda Wagovan I bought off a guy for $250 a year or so ago. It needed a clutch and there's a long boring story why it took this long. It's your basic car, but it's kinda fun to drive. It's leaking some oil so I'll have to look and see if I can figure out a cheap and easy fix for it. Once it's all set I have no idea what I'll do with it. Once really can only have so many cars after all. Sure, all of them are old and need things pretty regularly...... but I did need a hobby after all.

It's finally warming up a little bit here. So now the wind is blowing and will for a couple months. This is not really my favorite time of year.

I'm not coherent. I'm going to quit. It's time for taters out of the oven.

One more weekend of high stress

I have had a week from hell. My brain does not seem to be connected. It was testing week and I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I found out my parttime job will be coming to an end after spring break.

Every weekend for the past 3 weeks I have asked Greg to move out. I have given him all the reasons I should. He chooses not to listen. I am not sure I want to deal with the drinking anymore. I think he is starting to unravel and I don't want to deal with it. I am really good at sugar coating things. His drinking is out of control and has been since Oct. I have tried to be patient, and understanding, and supportive. In the end it is all about him and I am tired of feeling so much weight. Today was a really bad day. He was in the process of making a supposed bomb. It was a liquid concoction. I poured it out and pissed him off. He put his fist through a wall. I broke the damn and we went after it. He informed me I can't get him out even if I tried. I told him, my name is the only one on the lease. He said it wouldn't work. He wanted the car(s). I told him I would arrange to get a car an until that point I was not giving him it back. He blew. I realized how alike men are when they are unable to take responsibility for their actions. He kept saying he didn't know what I wanted from him. I told him repeatedly I have told you numerous times it just isn't the stuff you want to hear so you ignore it. He informed me he has to be drunk to live with us.. my answer MOVE OUT! It is going to be scary for a bit, but I have faith it will all work out.

Alena's team formed on Wednesday and first practice was Thursday with a scrimmage game today. OUCH didn't quite make that had an eye appt. Hope next week is better.

ooops

Don't know how to delete an extra post.

Blundering-

In the past month everything has gone in a downward spiral.
Our possessions are getting old, starting to break and unravel, along with the world we created around us.

I went to the "hearing", which wasn't really a hearing, I sat in the waiting room and saw the CEO walk in, I made sure to smile and say hi; but he remained expressionless while he took a real good look at me as he walked out the office doors. What courage I had amped up inside of me fizzled out like a popped balloon. I was brought into a large meeting room with a panel of four people who sat me down in front of them, put a recorder in front of me and sat there while I talked. It was extremely nervewracking, but I said all that I wanted to say, even if my voice was shaky. If I don't get my job back I at least tried as hard as I could.

School is my next goal, unemployment is turning into a huge mess and I want to do something with my life besides fight for minimum wage jobs.
I am trying my best to keep pressing forward, but the wheight of the world is pressing on me from all sides, things just keep happening, I keep fucking up and becoming discouraged.

The memory of Bishop still haunts me. Sometimes I wander the halls aimlessly, looking at the glitter stuck in the carpet, never to come out. I found something written next to the old bell on the wall, right next to the striker he pulled that morning.

All I've known

Yet I've never been

Time starts again

:

Odd little blips have been happening as well; like our shampoo bottle had run about empty, and just when we were going to run out a big bottle of the exact kind we use (tresemm'e) came through goodwill for 99 cents. It's those subtle little signs that reassure me amidst all this turbulence that we're going to be Ok.

time - gravity

here is one thought -

Time is like gravity, it doesnt really exist but it weighs on you..

v.

Jesus Swept review

From Brother Tim, a wonderful man who interviewed James a couple of weeks ago. You can read it here.

If you have a minute, stop by Tim's. He's a good guy.

The tales of Bazz-Continued

Bishop was becoming a companion, since I sat at home most of the time on my unemployed ass I was glad to have his company until Angel came home. A few weeks ago we were checking out the creatures, he especially liked our big fuzzy spiders. He said he'd worked at a zoo for seven years, handling many spiders and he wanted to handle Mona Lisa. Naturally I did not believe him, but maybe he meant a human zoo for 7 years, with padded walls. I still didn't trust him completely, and I felt wary with Mona. She is a feisty spider and I feared she'd bite him and she'd drop to her death, but he persisted that I let him touch her. I finally said yes, and with care he coaxed her onto his hand, pulled her all the way out of the cage and let her crawl around his hand for a while. I was amazed she didn't bite him, even more amazed at how well he handled her; I had underestimated him.
:
He had this one girlfriend who was almost ten years younger than him, she had no real direction in life and got mixed up with Matt and his tweak, then was banned from the building. This is partially the reason Matt and him are at such odds... She chose Bishop in the end. He would sneak her over, then introduced her to us, she was alright to talk to. She was pregnant with his kid, (supposedly) and they were both on the rocks for it. He asked us to beat her as well to make her feel better, like it did for him.

I went to his apartment to get them, and he opened the door wide, revealing his naked body. I looked away in shock and awkwardness, but he didn't seem to mind at all. Rather, he smiled cordially and invited me in. I stood there as he wrapped his waist and his half-naked girlfriend layed in the bed, staring up at me. I got out of there quickly, couldn't help but laugh a little when I told Angel.

We gave her a small beating with the cat of 9 tails on the back, she took it well and we let her go, but she didn't turn on to it like he did, we didn't really see her after that.

He would hint at his desire to be taken prisoner again, but it was only on our time and when we felt like it. His birthday being a special circumstance, the whole apartment became silent and still as the sounds of leather smacking across his back and cries of agony came out of our apartment.

The day after his birthday beating he was getting evicted, so I wasn't too surprised Friday morning when I heard the fire alarm go off at 5am. We layed there and I thought of what trouble he was causing, but I became concerned when I heard fire trucks speed down the street and stop in front of the apartment. We decided to get dressed and prepare to be evacuated, stumbling along the way, I had no idea what to do with our important things and our creatures. Nobody was talking in the halls, we just heard doors opening and closing, rushed footsteps and then complete silence. We step out in the hallway and there was not a soul present, the fire doors slammed shut and the fire escape flew open. We looked outside to see three fire trucks in the street and people outside looking up at us. There was no smoke, but the sirens were still blaring. We start to walk back to our room and we almost run head on into a pair of firemen, scaring the crap out of both of us. They looked up and down the hall, shrugged their shoulders and left.

The alarm was turned off and life suddenly flew back to normal, as if I were dreaming.

I looked down on the carpet and noticed something sparkly, I thought it was glass. I called Angel out, and it turned out to be a small pile of glitter. I stared at the strange occurrance for only a moment before going back in my apartment with Bishop and the fire trucks on my mind, what was that boy up to??

The next time I went out of my apartment everything was normal and meaningless. I felt loneliness creep over me, no more talks about rainbows and centers; it's just us and the tweakers.

I looked out the East hall window, watching the sun start to shine through. As the light moved it shone onto the carpet, revealing a sea of sparkles at my feet. A smile immediately stole upon my face as I walked to the other side and saw that every inch of the 4th floor was covered in glitter.
It stuck to my feet as I walked in it, Joy filling my soul as the light revealed thousands of sparkling pieces...
I turned the corner and Bishop was standing there in front of me, a giant smile on his face. I grinned and pointed my finger at him; "Did you do this?"He closes his hands together and bows to me, "I didn't do it. It's magic. The fairies came!" He pauses and looks at me, "I think you did it." Smiling, he reaches up to an old alarm bell in the doorway, pulls the striker and the bell rings loud throughout the building. I jump in surprise and run down the hallway back to my room, his laughter trailing behind me.
:

The neighbors felt quite different about the whole affair, bitchin' and moanin' up and down the hallways until the manager to come clean the mess. Out of anger one of the tweakers poured their popcorn all over the hallway as well, but he made a fool of himself; what a pig.I suppressed my laughter as I listened to the manager vaccum the whole floor twice, "I just CAN'T believe this. Whats next? These people are crazy!"

As for the Fire alarm, Bishop said he didn't do anything, he just took apart his radiator to make a sauna out of his room. The steam filled his room and set the alarm off, and he quickly put it back together before the fire department came. The manager and fire department go to his room first, but it was all aired out by the time they got there. Bishop simply said, "Oh no there is no fire in here!" He still denies the glitter, but I refuse to believe otherwise.
Now he's living in a tent somewhere on the river, content to sleep on a rock, searching for his center. I hope I run into him again; Bazz Bishop. What a character.

The Tale of Bazz Bishop

I remember first hearing of Bazz Bishop when this guy named Matt used to talk about him, describing him as a dangerous tweak dealer. Matt and Bishop had this ongoing battle of personalities throughout the time that I got to know them.

To begin I must tell you of Matt. A guy who lived on the other side of the 4th floor, he was completely hairless; not even leg hair. It was due to some strange incident when he was young and his mother was killed in front of his very own eyes; he lost all his hair permanently and the doctors could never figure out what was wrong or how to reverse it. He was the only kid in school that was allowed to wear a hat, receiving pity because most people thought he was a cancer patient.

Matt lived at our apartment building collecting SSI because he was too "crazy" to work. He would mention Bishop often, telling stories of fist fights and thumbtacks being placed in front of his door, which obviously made me very wary of this so-called chess player.

We stayed away from Bishop like we did everyone else in the building, while Matt started to burn bridges with us. It was okay when he'd knock once in a while, but he started knocking on our door at 3AM, coming over asking for random items about four times a day. He became persistent, and we lost our interest to open the door when we heard someone. Though they could hear us inside we would turn a deaf ear until whoever it was went away.

Everything changed on Christmas Eve.

Angel and I dropped our bombs and Bishop came a-knockin'; we were nervous of him so we went to his cracker-box room to get acquainted, and there he revealed a rather bizarre personality. He did not do drugs but he had a rather severe drinking problem. He kept repeating himself like his brain was a broken record. I was rather distrustful of him, I was trippin' and he was trippin' me out, saying things like, "I'm a rainbow man, I live honest and true, finding it, the center. Trust me." It isn't every day you hear something like that. I thought he was a bad person trying to get on my good side, just like Matt did.

A couple weeks after that first encounter he slowly began to knock on the door, unlike Matt he actually wanted to talk more than ask for handouts, which gradually gained our favor. He would talk in a way that was strange, and he would do strange things. We would ask him, "Why did you throw your boots out the window?"
"Because sometimes gravity is more significant than reality!"

He had a shaved head, big blue eyes and a fit physique. Sometimes he would be scruffy because he drank more than he shaved and bathed, but I still thought he was handsome. He had a completely different sense of the world he lived in, which fascinated me. When he described himself as a rainbow man, he would speak in metaphors, but over time I began to understand his way of speaking and thinking, he was definitely not stupid. He always talked about his people and their rainbow way of life, a subculture he was plugged into that allowed him freedom to travel with relative ease.
He clashed very bad with all of his neighbors, especially the apartment manager Leon. I would often hear fighting in the hallways, I don't exactly know what the problems were, but they all seemed meaningless. The tweakers in our building can't handle anything out of the ordinary, and he was everything but ordinary. He would speak of love and peace and people couldn't handle it at all. They all took sides with Matt, who has now become the ringleader of this apartment building, wheeling and dealing so much that we cut all ties with him whatsoever.

One night we were sitting with him in our apartment, listening to him and still trying to understand what he's talking about. Somehow we got on the topic of handcuffs, and he said he could get out of them, so much to his surprise we grabbed a pair of 2-ring cuffs and put them on behind his back. We watched with great amusement as he slowly managed to pull his boots off and get the cuffs in front of him, only to realize he was just as stuck. He sat there on the ground, helpless, asking us to take them off. We hesitated, we rather liked a full grown man in our mercy. We asked him if he'd ever been whipped before, and if he wouldn't mind us trying it on him.

First Angel and I hit him one at a time, one riding crop and a cat of nine tails. It was in no way sensual, rather an introduction to pain and pleasure, a higher level of feeling that most humans never feel.

His acceptance soon turned him into our personal man-slave. He would fiend for a beating; for the feelings it gave him inside. Indeed, Angel and I happened upon a true masochist. The more pain he felt, the more it released his troubled soul inside. Last Thursday was Bishop's 36th birthday. We attached him to our dresser with handcuffs, and layed him down on the floor and whipped him until he cried out, welts and cuts covering his back. He wanted more still, but the last moment was perfect, so we sent him to bed.

I will post the ending in another blog, The Tales of Bazz

Joe Cristiano interviews James

Here's a fun interview conversation.

Grainy day

Hunkered down inside, expecting a smattering of snow tonight. Spice is traveling, and we hope she will not get stuck in an airport tomorrow. Alone again, with a writing kind of day.